Searching for the perfect Eidulfitri Celebration

When I was still young, I have a certain notion of eidulfitri or hari raya. Its more like a ritual than religion. Certain thing must be in certain ways. For 39 years, eidulfitri must be celebrated in certain ways. The house must be squeaky clean. Ketupat and beef rendang must be ready on the eve of eidulfitri. Wash the exterior of the car and vacuum the interior. Morning prayer at the mosque with the new baju melayu. Be at the mosque one hour before the time for prayer. Family gathering right after the prayer and then off we go to our relatives house. Every year, I follow the routine. It as if I did not do one of those thing, the celebration for that year will be ruined. In other word, the eidulitri must be perfect!

That brings me to the question, what is a perfect eidulfitri celebration?

Is it where we celebrate eidulfitri? meaning, it must be at our home town. This year the hashtags #teamraya followed by the state where you celebrate your eidulfitri was trending. Is there a competition of the best state to celebrate your hari raya that I don't know of? It as if hari raya in your home town is more ‘Raya” than the other home town.

Is it the food? ketupat, lemang, and rendang is must or else the aura of eidulfitri will be sucked into oblivion.

Is it the songs? Oh, the hari raya songs is needed to build up the excitements towards the big day.

Is it the clothing? every one must, and I think they made it mandatory that everybody must dressed in a traditional malay dress. It can be baju melayu for the men or baju kurung/kebaya for the ladies or any spin off of that dress. Anyone in jeans and t-shirt will be subject to stares and ridiculed either  directly or in the social medias.

At 40, I began to question what makes a perfect eidulfitri celebration. However, the first question that we need to ask, whether the celebration need to be perfect at the first place?

To answer those questions, I also need to ask my self, what is the real meaning of eidulfitri?

Eidulfitri means we goes back to our fitrah, to our nature. It goes back to the basic. We need to go back as if we start everything all over again without the baggage of sins. We are given the opportunity to start fresh. 

When we are given the opportunity to start all over again, do we want to repeat all our previous mistakes? or we learn form the mistakes and change for the better.

Ramadan teach us to be patience, but why towards the iftar, we drive like crazy to be home on time for iftar…and why at the end of ramadan we drive like crazy on the road to our home town? Causing fatal accidents in the process.

Ramadan teach us to care and help the have not, to share…yet we extravagantly celebrate the eidulfitri with numerous new clothes, and we ate like there is no tomorrow. Where is the spirit of sharing of what we have with the have not as ramadan had taught us?

As I sat on my chair tonight, I have been asking my self what is the perfect eidulfitri celebration would be?

As for me, lot of people ask me about hari raya open house. 

For me, this year I will start my celebration of the eidulfitri with a humble eildulfitri prayer at the mosque. Then, it is just occasional small gatherings with my family and friends where I can just sit down with them and have a meaningful conversation about their life, about my life, and our hope for the future.